SOME HUMOURS

HUMOURS

Just for everyone

Santa walks up to his wife Preeto with a duck under his arm, and says .."Yahi wo bakri ..jiske saath mein roj yaun (sex) sambandh karta hunPreeto says, "Ye bakri nahi, Hansini hai !" Santa Singh replied, "Oye chup kar ..me tere saath baat nahi kar raha tha!"------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Teacher tells students to draw female reproductive organ! A girl was shy and she was looking down! A sardar boy shouts, “ MAA’M SHE IS COPYING!”------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down. The mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen. She dresses quickly and goes to find him.The son sees his mom and asks, "What were you and Dad doing?"The mother replies "Well you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it to help flatten it.""You're wasting your time," said the boy."Why is that?" asked his mom, puzzled."Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up."------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ A man was looking around a small gift shop when he came across an amazingly ugly statue of a rat. As he was staring at this statue, the shopkeeper came up to him and began to speak. 'Sir, I couldn't help but notice your interest in the statue. It's only five rupees, sir, but the story behind it will cost you fifty.' The man turned back around and looked in shock. 'Let me get this straight. If I buy the statue and the story behind it, I'll be paying fifty-five rupees. But if I can bear to live without the story, I'll only pay five?' The Shopkeeper grinned and nodded. Not believing what a bargain he'd got, the man quickly paid and walked out of the store. A few moments later, he noticed that a lone rat was following him. He shrugged, and ignored the rodent, hoping it would leave. When he looked back again, some five minutes later, he saw that the number of rodents had grown to maybe fifty rats. A little nervous, he turned back to his path and continued walking. When he looked around the third time, he saw thousands of rats following him. Horribly frightened, the man rushed to a dock overlooking the ocean and threw the statue as far out to sea as he possibly could. The rats followed the statue, sinking into the waves like stones. The man then rushed back to the shop, elated, panicked, and still in shock. When he burst through the door, the shopkeeper gave a little chuckle. He had a smug grin on his face as he said, 'I expect you've come back to buy the story.' The shopkeeper held out his hand for the fifty rupees. The customer looked confused for a second, then said. 'Heck no! I wanna know if you've got a statue of a Paki!'------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Class me ek ladki bra me rakhe biscuit khaa rahi thi! Thoda khaati fir use bra me chhupaa deti! Teacher ne dekhaa aur poochchaa, “ Kya kar rahi ho?” Ladka from the back, “ SIR, BISCUIT DOODH ME DUBAA DUBAA KAR KHAA RAHI HAI!”Khusbu ki tarah aapke pas bikhar jayenge,sukun ban kar dil me utar jayenge,mahsoos karne ki koshish to kijiye,door hote huye bhi aapke paas najar ayenge......------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ This real incident dates back to the time when British had colonized the entire world. The then queen of England declared that the country whose representative ****s me the maximum number of counts would be therby granted freedom.First it was the turn of the chinese. He starts and goes one, two.....thirty and opts out.Not at all a bad performance.(it has to be borne in mind that the queen had unquenchable appetite for sex).Then it was the turn of the japanese.A thin, short guy but everyone knows how hard working the japanese are one, two, three.....seventy and that was it.Now it was the turn of India represented by Santa Singh. He goes on one,two...ninety nine, hundred and exults in joy for having completed a century. The queen suddenly remarks back its not hundred only 99. Santa singh says its 100. She says " U Indians always cheat". For this remark Santa Singh goes mad and Yells " Alright bitch, lets start the count from the beginning".------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Arz Kiya hai : " Ek ada aapki dil churaane ki,ek ada aapki dil me bas jane ki,ek chehraa aapka chaand sa,Ek zid hamaari chaand paane ki".Fir se arz kiya hai : " Unhe chahna hamari kamzori hai,unhe kuchh na kehna hamari majburi hai,wo kyu na samjhe hamari khamoshi ko,Kya pyar ka izhar karna jaroori hai"."Har raste ka mukaam nahin hota,dil ke rishton ka naam nahin hota,khoja hai apko dil ki roshni se,aap jaisa dost kisi ke liye aam nahin hota."" Ek hi nazar me aap hamaare mehmaan ban gaye,do baate kya ki sara jahaan ban gaye,Pass rehkar bhi log hamaare ban na paaye,Door rehkar bhi aap hamaari jaan ban gaye".

SARDARJI HUMOURS

Sardar se pange nahi lene ka....Kya !!!!!

Yes...No Two sardars are driving in a car,one sardar puts on the indicator and asks the other to check if it is working.He puts his head out and says.....yes..no..yes..no..yes..no............!!!!

Flag

Once a sardar goes to a cloth store.he said to the owner bhai indian flag dikhana...shopkeeper shows him some flags.sardarji looks at them and thinks for a while and says something.........bhai isme aur colours dikhana!!!

SMS

Santa to banta,"oye tu har sms mujhe do baar kyun bejhta hai".Banta" vo is liye, ki agar tujhe ek forward karna ho to dusra to tere paas rehna chahiye".

Coffee

Santa to his wife:coffee jaldi piyo. Wife:but why? Santa:B'COZ hot coffeeis Rs.5 and cold coffee is Rs.20.

Introducing

A sardar was introuducing his family to his friend ,this is my sardarni, this is my kid,and this is my kidney.

Father

What frustrates the Sardarji when his wife delivered twins? He wonders who is the father of the second child.

His Last Wish

Three men had commited a crime and had to be executed on an electric chair. One man was Muslim, one was Hindu, and the other was a Sardar. Now, when time came for them to be executed, they each got their last wish. The Muslim wished for a chance to pray to Allah, and the Hindu wanted to pray to his Bhagvan and because they prayed,the electric chair broke. When the Sardar was asked his last wish, he said "I don't wanna die in a broken chair, FIX IT!"

Sardar trying to prove that sardars can fool others

One sardar wants to prove the world that sardars can also fool others. He decides to stare into the sky for nothing in the day time on a motor way for an hour. He wanted to fool the people who followed him. when he turned back after an hour, do u know what he saw....... only sardars staring at the sky along with him!!!!

ganeshhity

ganeshhity